


Fanfare

by kathkin



Series: Summerpornathon 2010 [11]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Anachronistic, M/M, Phone Sex, pudsy AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-22
Updated: 2010-08-22
Packaged: 2017-12-17 22:52:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/872883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathkin/pseuds/kathkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For bonus challenge 7 at the 2010 summerpornathon: Pudsy AUs/creative anachronism.</p>
<p>Arthur can't sleep, so naturally he calls Merlin at three in the morning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fanfare

Merlin’s ringtone was a loud, blaring trumpet fanfare. It had seemed hilarious and kind of badass when he’d first picked it out, but now that it was waking him up at three in the morning, it was the most obnoxious sound he’d ever heard.

He groped around for it, desperately trying not to leave the warm cocoon of his blankets. His efforts proved to be in vain when he reached too far and rolled out of the bed altogether. The floorboards were very hard.

“Ow,” he said, then, “Wstfgl,” because he wasn’t really awake yet. His phone was _still_ trumpeting away, whirring and vibrating on the windowsill. He grabbed at it, prodding at the buttons, just wanting the noise to stop.

The trumpets faded away, but before he could breath a sigh of relief, it was replaced by something else. And no, no, that was the most obnoxious sound he’d ever heard.

“Merlin,” barked Arthur’s tinny little voice. “Took you long enough. You there?”

Merlin groaned and reached for the phone. Smooth plastic pressed against his ear. “Arthur,” he said, voice slurred, “it’s the middle of the bloody night, Arthur.”

“I know,” said Arthur. “And I’m bored.”

Merlin rubbed at his eyes. God, he was so tired it _hurt_. “Have you tried sleeping? That’s what I normally do at night.”

“Of course I did,” said Arthur. “I can’t sleep. Don’t know why. I’ve been up for hours and I got bored so I called you. Entertain me.”

“I’m your manservant, not your jester,” said Merlin, crawled back towards his bed. His warm, wonderful bed.

“Exactly,” said Arthur. “It’s your job to follow my orders. Entertain me.”

“I just want to go back to sleep.” Merlin pressed his face into the pillow and closed his eyes, drifting off.

“Merlin!” Arthur snapped. “Don’t you dare fall asleep.”

“Do you want me to be able to do my job tomorrow or not?” groaned Merlin.

“I want you to do your job now,” said Arthur. A pause. “I just can’t stop thinking. About stuff.”

Merlin sighed, resigned himself. “What kind of stuff?” he rolled over onto his side, adjusting the phone.

“Just life,” said Arthur. “Camelot. Stuff like that.” Another pause. “Whether or not I’ll be a good king.”

“You’re going to be a great king,” said Merlin, voice slightly dreamy, but muffled by his pillow.

“I don’t know,” said Arthur. “Sometimes I think I’d rather do something else.”

“Wha’?” said Merlin.

“I used to want to go and travel around the world, fighting monsters and that,” said Arthur. “When I was a kid. And now I just can’t stop thinking.”

“Can’t stop thinking about what?” said Merlin.

“Do you think Camelot’s a good place to live, Merlin? Are the people happy here?”

“I dunno,” said Merlin.

“Well, are you happy?”

“I would be if you weren’t a giant prick who called me at three in the morning.”

Arthur laughed. “It’s a really beautiful night, you know. Have you seen the stars?”

“Yes. Twinkly. S’nice. I wanna sleep.”

Silence. When Arthur spoke again, his tone was a little sharper. “Well, if I can’t sleep, I don’t know why you should be allowed to.” The line hummed away. “This keeps happening. I hardly slept last night as well.”

“I’ll get you a sleeping draft tomorrow,” sighed Merlin. “Gaius makes them. S’good.” His eyes fell closed. The phone began to slide out of his hand.

“Merlin!” snapped Arthur. “Wake up.”

“I’m awake,” groaned Merlin. “Want me to bring you some warm milk, sire? Would that help?”

“Shut up, Merlin,” said Arthur. “That’s not helping.”

“Fine,” said Merlin. He racked his sleepy brain. “You know what I do when I can’t get to sleep?”

“What do you do when you can’t get to sleep, Merlin?”

“I have a wank.”

Silence. Then Arthur sputtered out a laugh. “Are you serious?”

“Works for me,” said Merlin. He yawned. “Try it. S’good.”

“Fine,” said Arthur. There were some rustling sounds. Merlin’s eyes widened.

“Well, not while I’m still on the phone!” he said.

“You suggested it,” said Arthur. “Don’t you dare hang up.” His breath hitched. Then he moaned.

“You’re faking,” said Merlin.

“Am not.” Arthur moaned again. After a moment, his breath began to come in little pants.

“What are you thinking about?” said Merlin. He wasn’t sure whether to be excited or appalled.

“Just,” said Arthur between frantic little breaths. “Stuff. The usual.”

“Which is?” said Merlin.

Silence. The line buzzed. “ _Oh God,_.” A few more harsh, desperate-sounding breaths, then a drawn out groan.

“Well?” said Merlin after a few seconds. “Did it help?”

“Mmm,” moaned Arthur. There was some rustling.

“What were you thinking about, then?” said Merlin. He curled up on his side, letting himself start to drift off.

A pause. Then, “You.”

_Click_.

Merlin stared into the darkness, suddenly wide awake. It looked like he wasn’t getting any sleep after all.


End file.
